Selected Writing
“The Doctor’s Plan,” The New Yorker, Nov. 10, 2025 (PDF)
“Our University’s Commitment to You,” The New Yorker, April 21, 2025 (PDF)
“Life Is Too Short,” The New Yorker, Jan, 23, 2023 (PDF)
“The Trigger,” The New Yorker, Feb. 7, 2022 (PDF)
“Your Immortality Application,” The New Yorker, Oct. 21, 2019 (PDF)
“Luddites Shall Inherit The Earth,” The New York Times, May 18, 2019 (PDF)
“#Proletariat,” The New Yorker, April 15, 2019 (PDF)
“To My Younger Self,” The New Yorker, Aug. 16, 2018 (PDF)
Additional Writing
“Developmental Milestones of Your Elon Musk,” The New Yorker, Feb. 3, 2025
“Writing Prompts,” The New Yorker, July 22, 2024
“A Birthday with Almodovar,” Works Progress, June 1, 2024
“Melanie Ann Donoghue and Wordle Wed,” The New Yorker, March 11, 2024
“Is Not Drinking a Problem For You?” The New Yorker, May 15, 2023
“Wondering: How to Write Funny,” The Harvard Gazette, April 13, 2023
“Lyrics From Taylor Swift’s Future Midnights,” The New Yorker, Nov. 21, 2022
“Are Mice People?”, The New Yorker, July 25, 2022
“A Letter to My Future Child,” The New Yorker, May 30, 2021
“Opt Out,” The New Yorker, Sept. 14, 2020
“Fear of Missing Out,” The New Yorker, April 6, 2020
“Deep State D.M.V.,” The New Yorker, Dec. 9, 2019
“War and Peace and Clandestine Influence,” The New Yorker, July 9 & 16, 2018
“Look,” Vol. 1 Brooklyn, April 8, 2018
“Daily Self Negations,” The New Yorker, Feb. 24, 2018
“Our Parents Are Our Future,” The New Yorker, Sept. 25, 2017
“Katniss Everdeen, White House Intern Application,” The New Yorker, Dec. 19 & 26, 2016
“Breaking Up With Your Parents,” The New Yorker, Nov. 14, 2016
“Locker-Room Talk,” The New Yorker, Oct. 13, 2016
“Please See Attached,” The New Yorker, Aug. 22, 2016
“Other Recent Campaign Promises To Russia,” The New Yorker, July 28, 2016
“My Struggle: The Elevator Pitch,” n+1, June 29, 2016
“Frontier Squad Goals,” The New Yorker, Feb. 29, 2016
“Sabers Up,” The New Yorker, Jan. 11, 2016
“New Harlequin Titles,” The New Yorker, Oct. 19, 2015
“Neuter The Bunny,” The New Yorker, April 1, 2015
“I Am An Assassin, and I’m In Love,” The New Yorker, Feb. 23, 2015
“Spray-On Fashion,” The New Yorker, Feb. 13, 2015
“Sting Is Me,” The New Yorker, Jan. 5, 2015
“Update: Operation Wall Street,” The New Yorker, Oct. 27, 2014
“On Ideals of Feminine Accomplishment,” The New Yorker, Sept. 15, 2014
“New S.A.T. Practice Questions,” The New Yorker, March 17, 2014
“Olivia Pope Fixes Chris Christie,” The New Yorker, Jan. 14, 2014
“Influencers,” The New Yorker, Dec. 23, 2013
“To the N.S.A.: Some Explanations,” The New Yorker, Sept. 30, 2013
“Suggestions for International Diplomacy,” The New Yorker, July 8, 2013
“Apologies,” The New Yorker, April 22, 2013
“Meeting Minutes,” The New Yorker, March 11, 2013
“A Few More Things The 47 Percent Don’t Do,” The New Yorker, Oct. 22, 2012
“Survey Says,” The New Yorker, March 19, 2012
“‘That’s What She Said’ And Advanced Operating Systems,” McSweeney's Internet Tendency, May 25, 2011